GAG : English quotes

  • [trouvé sur Internet] It’s amazing how the sentence « don’t believe everything you read on the Internet » is the same backwards as it is forwards.
  • I spend 500 % of my life exaggerating.
  • I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
  • [sms irlandais] Mary, I’m just having one more pint with the lads. If I’m not home in 20 minutes, read this message again…
  • Religion is like a penis. It’s okay to have one. It’s ok to be proud of it. However : do not pull it out in public, do not push it on children, do not write laws with it and do not think with it.
  • There are 3 kinds of people in this world : those who are good at math and those who aren’t.
  • Childhood is like being drunk : everyone remembers what you did, except you…
  • A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
  • Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Kevin.
  • Don’t worry about getting older. You’re still gonna do dumb shit, only slower.

Enjoy more…